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I have noticed a trend recently and one that as a reporter with a nose for societal trends, I am all over like a cheap suit!

We might as well admit it, there are a lot of us who are perpetually offended by just about every tv ad, youtube video,and popular media video/article.

I want to make it easier for us perpetually offended types by creating the Fred Moople Society for the Perpetually Offended.

We will be offering both a handbook and workshops in the near future.

Here is a preview of what will be addressed.

Any media that displays anything to do with an animal which is not hopelessly cute and cuddly will cause us to be offfended because these poor animals have no right to decide how they are being used and we demand this material be revoked.

Any commentary that critizes anbody other than a white guy for any reason is to be removed since it is offensive to an apparent minority.

Any use of women in videos or images where they look too sexy should be cause for a claim of sexism and we of the perpetually offended will object most profoundly.

However make it clear it is ok to have tons of media that shows people getting beat to crap or shot through the head with gallons of blood spraying all over the place, since that is just plain fun. We don't want to ruin all the fun.

Memberships will be available soon for the low price of $99 a year which will entitle you to our membership card and discounts on our new line of merchandise.

We will be selling a lovely t-shirt with the logo "I am offended and you should be too!"

There will be a matching set of baseball caps with the single word "OFFENDED!".

I hope you will be able to join this wonderful organization, since I will be deeply offended if you do not!